Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
