Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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