dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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