'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
