Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
