Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
