don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
