it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Everything about him screamed your future.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
