My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
