the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
