i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
