you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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