matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
