# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
