dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
