My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
