I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
