well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
