im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
