I wanna bring you to show and tell
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
my liver is dry heaving
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
