i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize