Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
