don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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