people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
