My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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