As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
