one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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