Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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