You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
