420 ftw
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize