So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
