There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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