Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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