What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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