Screwed.edu
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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