Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
