1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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