so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
