At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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