Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize