i jhust puked up my retainher.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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