i would punch a child for taco bell
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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