Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
