idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
