Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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