dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
