it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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