I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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