just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
