There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
