It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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