I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
