I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
