you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
