I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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