Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
